A struggle with what God tells you...

How many times do you question what you feel you are hearing from God is actually from Him? There are times I can feel God's voice in my spirit but it's not really what I want to be hearing. I have been going through a tough time on my path with Christ and thought it would make a great blog entry so maybe someone else who goes through something similar may find strength.

Back last October I began to feel God telling me to leave my church. Now I had been struggling with some things I was seeing in church but leaving was something I just did NOT want to do. I fought this for a span of 3 months but finally just had to obey and step out on faith. I kept hearing that there was something great waiting for me. I was involved with quite a few things in my church. I was part of a drama team, taught Sunday School on occasion, church league softball, short children sermons, and playing guitar for the church. I was supposed to just give up all that and leave? Oh...this was a hard thing to do but I did it anyway on faith.

I visited a couple churches and learned some wonderful things. Each sermon I heard seemed to be connected to what I was going through. As a month or so passed I began to wonder if I did the right thing. I wasn't finding this great thing I was supposed to have. I wasn't feeling a connection to the other churches like I thought I would. I began to think I was deceived in what I was hearing. Thinking that Satan had whispered in my ear to get me out of my church. Then a couple things happened that began to bring me back to my church. One of my sons had an artwork entered in a competition and this happened to be at my old church. Then on another occasion a good friend from my church contacted me to go to a Hillsong United concert with him because he had an extra ticket. In both these cases I felt that was where I needed to be. Back at my church and being with my family from that church.

I began to meditate and pray on this. Should I go back to my old church? This is when I began to have a wonderful outpouring and the Holy Spirit began to speak volumes to me. I want to start with this scripture...

James 2
20You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? 21Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. 24You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.

I was wondering if I was deceived into leaving... now I know that God was testing me to see if I would show my faith by doing what he asked of me similar to Abraham's faith being made complete by his willingness to offer Isaac as a sacrifice knowing God promised to make him the father of nations. It was God's voice I heard and I obeyed. I fought it hard tho....lol, but obeyed in the end. I willfully gave up all I had built and coveted. Now, upon returning to my church I am certain in the Lord that He will reposition me into all I was doing there before and will bless all I do there with great measure. The Lord blessed Abraham in Genesis 22 because he obeyed. I know God isn't looking at what I gave up as a sacrifice to Him but as a seed He gave me. Only by giving it up will He be able to multiply it.

May God bless you all